


Murder at the Pizza Bowl: A "Laverne & Shirley" Mystery Kit

by amythis



Category: Laverne & Shirley (TV)
Genre: F/M, Mystery Kit, Ships too spoilery to mention in the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:55:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27698599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amythis/pseuds/amythis
Summary: Dr. Ogden Greenbaum, noted Milwaukee proctologist, has been murdered!  It's up to Laverne, Shirley, and their friends to get to the bottom of this mystery.
Relationships: Edna Babish/Frank DeFazio, Shirley Feeney/Carmine Ragusa
Kudos: 2





	1. Hosting Information, Part One

**Author's Note:**

> This is designed for a post-Covid world where people can safely hold mystery events again. You are free to put it on at parties or other non-profit events, but it would of course violate fair use to make money from it.

Setting: The Fall of 1959, Season Three, the night of Ogden and Rosie Greenbaum's third wedding anniversary. The Pizza Bowl in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, on the corner of the block with 730 Knapp Street, where most of the suspects live. Owner Frank DeFazio lives in an apartment above the pizzeria, while the Greenbaums live in a much better neighborhood.

Decorations and sets: This is designed to be put on in almost any venue, large or small. At minimum, you will need a dining area big enough to hold perhaps half a dozen small tables, preferably round, with two to four chairs each. (Two tables absolute minimum.) Be as creative as you can, while staying true to the show.  
⦁ Dining area, further details— It can be as simple or as elaborate as you want to make it, as long as it looks like a working-class pizzeria. Put it in the largest room in the venue, whether or not that's usually used for dining. Optional decorations include menus (for both the tables and the walls), a pay phone, a jukebox, a pinball machine, and a driving-game. If you can afford it, or have talented friends who will work for free or cheap, have a live '50s cover band. (It is highly recommended to play some kind of '50s music for atmosphere.)  
⦁ Restroom(s)— Label one door "MEN," the other "WOMEN," or if you have only one bathroom, change signs mid-event. Put up graffiti (with washable markers) on the walls inside, and maybe leave the markers out for guests to add their own messages.  
⦁ Kitchen— You can decide whether this will be off-limits to the guests or not. It might be a good place for people to share information more privately than in the dining area, but if you just want it to be the staging area for the refreshments, that's up to you. Feel free to decorate it or not.  
⦁ Bowling alley— This can be in a hallway or, if the weather's nice enough and the neighbors won't mind, you can put it in the yard. If space is really limited, make a miniature bowling alley in a shoebox. Whatever you decide, you will need to have the "dead body" lying in a lane. (This can be a chalk outline, or a dummy, or even a cooperative friend. The victim is covered in what looks like bloodstains, and has a bowling pin down his throat.) The bowling alley will have an "Out of Order" sign on the entrance and will not be accessible until Phase Four, see "Hosting Information, Part Two."

Refreshments: Pizza of course! If you serve beer, make Shotz labels for the bottles or cans. Sodas and anything else that would fit a '50s pizzeria works. If you're able to, get a "Happy Anniversary" cake for the Greenbaums, although they were planning to celebrate at the Pfister Hotel, because this is actually a clue. (You can improvise with cupcakes or even cookies if you have to, as long as you decorate them appropriately.) You'll want to keep refreshments pretty simple but as plentiful as necessary for your guest list.

Host(s): Mystery parties work best with two or more hosts. In this case, the mystery will be hosted by "Mary the Waitress" and/or "Tony the Cook." They will run the mystery and provide refreshments. They know all about the characters and, in the case of a suspect not being able to make it to the event, they will supply missing clues for the detectives. If possible, they will "cast" guests ahead of time, but if attendance is uncertain, names can be drawn out of hats. (A "male" hat and a "female" hat, unless it doesn't matter to the guests. You can also just use cups or any other containers, with slips of paper for the names.)  
If you have two hosts and one, Host A, doesn't want to know the solution to the mystery, just print out this document and "Hosting Information, Part Two" for A, while Host B will have all the information, including copies of the Suspect Sheets. Or if there's just one host, and they don't want to know, or both hosts don't want to know, have a friend print out "Hosting Information, Part Three" and place it in a sealed envelope, to be opened by the host(s) at the designated time, see "Part Two."

Suspects in alphabetical order (more detail on Suspect Sheets):  
⦁ Edna Babish— Frank's girlfriend, and landlady to five of the other suspects  
⦁ Frank DeFazio— Laverne's Italian-American father from Brooklyn, the owner of the Pizza Bowl, and Edna's boyfriend  
⦁ Laverne DeFazio— Frank's daughter, Shirley's roommate, and a bottle-capper at Shotz Brewery  
⦁ Shirley Feeney— Carmine's girlfriend, Laverne's roommate, and another bottle-capper at Shotz  
⦁ Rosalind "Big Rosie" Greenbaum— Ogden's unemployed wife, now widow, and frenemies with most of the other suspects, particularly Laverne  
⦁ Lenny Kosnowski— Squiggy's roommate and a truck-driver at Shotz  
⦁ Carmine "The Big Ragoo" Ragusa— Shirley's boyfriend and an instructor at a dance studio  
⦁ Andrew "Squiggy" Squiggman— Lenny's roommate and another truck-driver at Shotz

Non-suspects: If you have more than eight guests, the rest can be detectives helping the suspects. (Try to distribute them evenly and in ways that make sense, unless you want to just team them up randomly.) Possibilities for "casting" include  
⦁ Generic 1950s working-class twentysomethings just out for a night of pizza and bowling but stumbling upon this mystery  
⦁ Dates or potential dates for Laverne, Shirley, Lenny, or Squiggy, meeting them at the P.B.  
⦁ Suspects' relatives who live locally or are visiting from out of town  
⦁ Suspects' other friends, e.g. Terry Buttafucco or Eraserhead  
⦁ _Happy Days_ characters crossing over  
⦁ Mork from Ork or anyone else in the Marshallverse that could plausibly be in the neighborhood, e.g. Nancy Blansky or Random the Angel


	2. Hosting Information, Part Two

TIMELINE  
_Phase One—_ The hosts welcome the guests to the Pizza Bowl. If casting hasn't been done ahead of time, each guest should draw a name. (The hosts can provide simple props and costumes, like an L that "Laverne" can attach to her blouse, to identify the characters, although just name-tags would be fine. If a guest is somehow unfamiliar with their character, read them the brief description from "Part One.") Once all the suspects are cast, start on the others, either having them draw a category out of the hat, or just helping them decide on the spot who they will be playing. Assign these non-suspects to suspects' teams.  
Guests can mingle, eat, dance, etc. No information about the mystery itself should be shared during this phase. This phase can take anywhere from five minutes to an hour, depending on the mood of the crowd and what your time constraints are.  
_Phase Two—_ Mary and/or Tony (MaoT) will silence the music (if any) and announce that Dr. Ogden Greenbaum has been found dead in the bowling alley. There is a bowling pin stuffed into his mouth and he's covered in what looks like bloodstains, so murder is more likely than suicide.  
MaoT have decided not to call the cops just yet because of the possible scandal this will bring to the Pizza Bowl. For one thing, the doctor had some items in his wallet that throw suspicion on some of the people here tonight, including a list with eight names. MaoT reads out the names: "My wife Rosie, her friends Laverne DeFazio and Shirley Feeney, Laverne's father Frank, the girls' landlady Edna Babish, and Rosie's old classmates Carmine Ragusa, Lenny Kosnowski, and Andrew Squiggman."  
Guests can react as feels appropriate to their characters. This phase should just take a few minutes.  
_Phase Three—_ This phase will take about ten minutes. The hosts distribute sealed envelopes to the suspects, telling them to not share the contents with anyone just yet and only under special circumstances later. The hosts will give the suspects time to read through the information they've just received. (If one or both hosts have opted to not know the solution, they will not know what these envelopes contain, but they will have enough information to answer for any missing suspects during Phase Four.)  
The hosts will explain the gameplay as follows:  
⦁ Detectives will talk to the suspects, taking notes on paper the hosts will provide. (This can be blank loose-leaf pages, notepads, charts, however simple or complicated you want to make it.)  
⦁ Suspects are eager to give their Alibis to anyone who asks. (This can be verbally or written on an index card, whatever works best for the venue.)  
⦁ Each suspect also knows a Rumor about another suspect. (These should be written on index cards, which can either be shown or traded.) Detectives can also use flirting, bribery, or promised favors, e.g. car repair, to get Rumors from suspects.  
⦁ Each suspect has an item from Ogden's wallet. They can share these with detectives in a similar way to how they share Rumors.  
⦁ If any suspects are absent, the hosts will share the Alibis, Rumors, and Wallet Items for those characters, and the hosts can be flirted with, bribed, or promised favors just like suspects can.  
⦁ A non-suspect can go around with their assigned suspect or investigate on their own and report back. Or they can go rogue and either not cooperate with their suspect, or claim to be "the real killer." Anything is all right as long as it's in-character for them. (E.g. "Mork" could time-freeze people and drink beer with his finger.)  
⦁ Suspects should not share more information than Alibis, Rumors, and Wallet Items with anyone, even non-suspects on their teams. However, it's fine to refer to canon events, characters, and places that don't bear directly on the mystery, e.g. the brewery.  
_Phase Four—_ Things play out as described above. This phase should take a half hour minimum. The maximum is up to time constraints, turnout (smaller attendance usually means quicker mysteries), pace of detecting, etc. It's a good idea to have the music play again, although at a lower volume. More food, maybe just snacks, optional during this phase.  
_Phase Five—_ The hosts hand out solution sheets. (These should be pretty simple, with the name of the detective and/or character name, who they suspect and why. There can be individual sheets for each detective, or just one sheet for each team.) The hosts tell the detectives they have ten minutes to fill these out and turn them in. Meanwhile, if one or both hosts haven't yet read "Hosting Information, Part Three," they should do so now. It will cover Phases Six through Eight.  
  
SUSPECT ALIBIS  
Edna's Alibi— She was dealing with the plumbing issues in Lenny and Squiggy's apartment.  
Frank's Alibi— He was at a cheese warehouse, buying mozzarella wholesale.  
Laverne's Alibi— She was at the fabric store, buying felt for her L's.  
Shirley's Alibi— She was at the pet shop, admiring the puppies and kittens.  
Rosie's Alibi— She was at the Pfister Hotel, waiting for Ogden to show up for their third-anniversary party.  
Lenny's Alibi— He was at the music store, buying guitar picks.  
Carmine's Alibi— He was at the Marjorie Ward Dance Studio, giving a private lesson.  
Squiggy's Alibi— He had a hot date.  
  
SUSPECT RUMORS  
Edna's Rumor— Frank was insulted that Ogden thought the Pizza Bowl was too low-class a venue to hold the Greenbaums' anniversary party in, especially after Rosie had asked Frank to bake a cake for it.  
Frank's Rumor— Lenny had a "personal problem" that he talked to Ogden about after Frank didn't want to discuss it.  
Laverne's Rumor— Shirley envied Rosie marrying a doctor.  
Shirley's Rumor— Squiggy has ambitions and would like to better himself.  
Rosie's Rumor— Ogden was sort of Mrs. Babish's nephew and he knew things about her that she wouldn't like Mr. DeFazio to know.  
Lenny's Rumor— Rosie wasn't exactly faithful to Ogden.  
Carmine's Rumor— Laverne blamed Ogden for bringing out the worst in Rosie, who used to be better friends with Laverne when they were in the Angora Debs together.  
Squiggy's Rumor— Sometimes Carmine is giving lessons in more than dancing at the dance studio.  
  
WALLET ITEMS  
These can either be placed in the suspects' envelopes ahead of time, if you're sure who will be there, or they can be distributed in Phase Three in a way that feels fair. (E.g. if you have only four guests, give them each two items, but if you have six, you can give them one each and keep two for yourself, to be shared with the detectives as described above.) The first five are in "Ogden's" handwriting.  
1\. The list of the eight names  
2\. A note that says, "Uncle Lloyd, what a small world this is. Imagine your ex-wife knowing so many people I know! And I can definitely see why you had to divorce her."  
3\. A note that says, "I really don't think you have what it takes to become a doctor, or to even go to college. Quit bothering me!"  
4\. A note that says, "Why would a prestigious doctor want anything to do with a working girl like you?"  
5\. A note, dated November 16, 1958, that says, "Darling, I understand your problem, but there's nothing I can do about it. Maybe if you," then ends as if unfinished  
6\. An appointment card, written in different handwriting (Ogden's receptionist's), for a proctology exam  
7\. A business card for a private detective, who specializes in gathering evidence for divorce cases  
8\. A bill for a third-wedding-anniversary cake, with Pizza Bowl logo, stamped "Paid in Full," with an unchecked box that says "Delivery" and a checked box for "Pick-up," signed by "Ogden Greenbaum"


	3. Hosting Information, Part Three

_Phase Six—_ If the hosts didn't have time in Phase Five, they will now look over the solution sheets, as the guests mingle, dine, etc., still in character. The hosts are looking for the solution that Frank DeFazio killed Ogden Greenbaum because Frank found out about Laverne's affair with Ogden last year, which led to her pregnancy scare. The hosts can award partial points if they want. (Extra points if someone figures out that Frank lured Ogden there by having him pick up the anniversary cake. Also extra points if someone figured out that the bloodstains are actually pizza sauce.)  
_Phase Seven—_ The hosts reveal the solution and who got it right, if anyone. Give the guests time to react. Then the hosts will regretfully have to call the cops on their boss. (If you have a friend who can play Officer Norman Hughes, he can show up and handcuff Frank. Or if someone has chosen to play Norman, involve him in this part.)  
_Phase Eight—_ Optional certificates/awards/prizes, not just for detective work but for acting, costumes, etc. The hosts thank the guests for coming and the event breaks up. Unless you want to do a talent show or something.


	4. Female Suspect Sheets

EDNA BABISH

You are the landlady of the apartment building at 730 Knapp Street, not far from the Pizza Bowl, which is owned by your boyfriend, Frank DeFazio. Frank's daughter Laverne is one of your tenants, as are four of her friends. The tenants drive you crazy sometimes, but mostly you are a wise and motherly presence in their lives.

You have five children of your own and have been married five times. One of your ex-husbands, Lloyd Schwartz, is very bitter about your divorce and he knows some of your most private secrets. You had no idea until tonight that he was the maternal uncle of Ogden Greenbaum, since Ogden was just a little boy during that brief marriage and you've never met him. If you had a motive for murder, it would be to keep Ogden from spilling those secrets. But you're not a violent person and you were busy trying to get the Jell-O out of Lenny and Squiggy's bathtub.

Rosie is the suspect you know least, and most of that is from stories that Laverne and Shirley have told you. Although you like to gossip, you don't want someone you care about to go to jail, so you will spread a harmless although true rumor about Frank.

Your Alibi: "I was dealing with the plumbing issues in Lenny and Squiggy's apartment."

Your Rumor: "Frank was insulted that Ogden thought the Pizza Bowl was too low-class a venue to hold the Greenbaums' anniversary party in, especially after Rosie had asked Frank to bake a cake for it."

  
  
  
  
  


LAVERNE DEFAZIO

You are a bottle-capper at Shotz Brewery, where you work with your best friend, Shirley Feeney, as well as old friends Lenny Kosnowski and "Squiggy" Squiggman, who are truck-drivers. The "boys" are neighbors in your apartment building at 730 Knapp Street, as is Shirley's boyfriend, Carmine Ragusa. Your understanding landlady is Edna Babish, who's dating your widowed father, Frank, the owner of the Pizza Bowl.

When Pop and Mrs. Babish first started dating, it took some getting used to for you, since he hadn't been serious about anyone since your mom died. But you like Mrs. Babish, and you wish them well. You also wish Pop would get off your back about getting married and giving him grandchildren.

You do want to get married someday and you do fall for guys easily, your tough exterior hiding a romantic heart. About a year ago, you made the mistake of getting involved with a married man, Ogden Greenbaum, who's married to Rosie, your old rival from high school. You knew at the time it was a very bad idea, but he claimed to love you, and you thought you loved him.

Then you had a pregnancy scare. You made up a story about a possible encounter with a stranger in a vat during a party at the brewery (when all you did that night was win a pair of boxer shorts in a drinking contest), because it was better that everyone think it was a stranger than a married man. You did tell Ogden but he said there was nothing he could do about it. You ended the affair, even though he wanted to revive it when it turned out you weren't pregnant.

You're still bitter about the experience, but you would never kill Ogden over it, despite your temper and ability to win fistfights. At most, you would've hit him at the time. You've moved on, not that you're not shocked by his death of course. And you know you'll be a prime suspect if people find out your secret, not to mention the humiliation you'll suffer. You don't know who the murderer is, but you hope it's your least favorite person here, Rosie. That's why you will spread a harmless although true rumor about your best friend, since you know soft-hearted, mostly non-violent Shirley is the last person who could be the killer.

Your Alibi: "I was at the fabric store, buying felt for my L's."

Your Rumor: "Shirley envied Rosie marrying a doctor."

  
  
  
  
  


SHIRLEY FEENEY

You are a bottle-capper at Shotz Brewery, where you work with your best friend, Laverne DeFazio, as well as old friends Lenny Kosnowski and "Squiggy" Squiggman, who are truck-drivers. The "boys" are neighbors in your apartment building at 730 Knapp Street, as is your boyfriend, Carmine Ragusa. Your understanding landlady is Edna Babish, who's dating Laverne's widowed father, Frank, the owner of the Pizza Bowl.

You and Carmine have been dating off and on since high school, but never exclusively. You are both prone to jealousy and prefer not to know the details of each other's relationships. Meanwhile, you dream of someday marrying a professional man, preferably a doctor.

You asked Ogden Greenbaum, the proctologist husband of Rosie, your old friend from high school, to fix you up with one of his colleagues, not necessarily in the same field. He was very rude about it, saying that no doctor in his right mind would want to date a bottle-capper. You're still hurt by this, but not to the point of murder! His death has shocked you, but not as much as the idea that the killer may be one of your friends.

You know that he also hurt the pride of Squiggy, although you don't know the details. Squiggy does have much more of a temper than you, but he's probably too much of a coward to actually kill a man. So you will spread a rumor about him.

Your Alibi: "I was at the pet shop, admiring the puppies and kittens."

Your Rumor: "Squiggy has ambitions and would like to better himself."

  
  
  
  
  


ROSALIND "BIG ROSIE" GREENBAUM

You are Ogden's wife, well, now widow. You liked the status of being a doctor's wife, but you were never in love with Ogden, although you will have to do a good job of seeming to grieve. You know that the wife is often the suspect, and the fact that you were unfaithful doesn't help matters.

Most of your affairs were just physical, like with the circus muscleman a few months ago. But your latest lover, your old high school classmate Carmine Ragusa, can be sweet and charming when he wants to be. You know that if people find out about this affair, they'll assume you killed Ogden, or had Carmine do it, so the two of you could run off together. You might've been falling for Carmine a little, but you're a hard-nosed realist and you know that The Big Ragoo could never support you in the style you've grown accustomed to these past three years. (Of course, being a well-to-do widow would help, but maybe you could land another professional man for your second husband. At least you won't have to get a job.)

Even if Ogden hadn't died, you wouldn't want Laverne DeFazio and Shirley Feeney, your fellow Angora Debs, to find out about you and Carmine. You and DeFazio have always had a rivalry, even when Shirley has tried to make you act like friends. If DeFazio knew, she would not only treat you like a floozy, but she might try to beat you up. DeFazio is fiercely loyal to Shirley, who has been dating Carmine off and on since high school but has never put out. You never intended to hurt Shirley, who's sweet and naive.

Although you've moved up in the world, you still have a soft spot for the old neighborhood. You like being able to impress people that you were going to have your third-wedding-anniversary celebration at the Pfister Hotel (you'll need to call the hotel on the pay phone at some point to belatedly cancel), but a part of you wishes you could've held the party here at the Pizza Bowl. That's why you asked Laverne's father, the owner of this pizzeria, to bake the cake.

As long as you and Carmine aren't found guilty, you don't much care who is, although you would sacrifice DeFazio in a heartbeat. You know all kinds of gossip, but nothing damaging enough about DeFazio, so you're going to spread a rumor about the person you know least, Mrs. Babish. You don't know the details, but you can always make them up.

Your Alibi: "I was at the Pfister Hotel, waiting for my poor Ogden to show up for our third-anniversary party."

Your Rumor: "My poor Ogden was sort of Mrs. Babish's nephew and he knew things about her that she wouldn't like Mr. DeFazio to know."


	5. Male Suspect Sheets

FRANK DEFAZIO

You are the owner of the Pizza Bowl and have an apartment above it. You worried about your only child, Laverne, when she moved out, but at least Laverne's apartment is nearby. And for the past year or so she's had a good landlady, Edna Babish, who is the most serious girlfriend you've had since you became a widower about fifteen years ago.

You worry more about Laverne's love life than your own, since you're an old-fashioned Italian-American and you want her to get married and give you grandchildren. You became very upset when you recently found out that she had an affair about a year ago with a married man, Ogden Greenbaum, whose wife, Rosie, has been Laverne's rival since high school. You suspected that Ogden may've had something to do with Laverne's pregnancy scare.

When Ogden said that the Pizza Bowl was too low-class a venue to hold the Greenbaums' anniversary party in, it added insult to injury. However, Rosie had already asked you to make the cake for the party, since she loves your baking. So you lured Ogden into picking up the cake at your restaurant. You then yelled at him for what he did to your daughter.

Instead of denying it, he said, "Well, that was over a year ago. And what was I supposed to do, leave Rosie for Laverne?"

Your temper got the best of you, and you choked him, leaving pizza stains on his clothes. Then you dragged him into the bowling alley, where you stuffed a pin into his mouth. You didn't know what to do with the body, since it was almost time to open up the restaurant. So you put an "Out of Order" sign on the entrance to the alley, and then snuck up to your apartment, where you showered and changed your clothes.

You knew the murder couldn't stay hidden, but maybe suspicion will fall on somebody else. Or maybe you'll confess in the end, if the guilt gets to be too much for you, or if people decide Laverne is guilty. You'll do anything to protect your "Muffin."

Other than Laverne and Edna, the suspect you know best is Laverne's best friend, Shirley, but you know pretty much everybody in the neighborhood, after running a popular business for so long. Plus, Laverne went to high school with most of the suspects. You don't usually spread gossip, but since you have to have a rumor to share, you'll sacrifice Lenny; he'll be embarrassed but it's not like he would've killed Ogden over it.

Your Alibi: "I was at a cheese warehouse, buying mozzarella wholesale."

Your Rumor: "Lenny had a 'personal problem' that he talked to Ogden about after I didn't want to discuss it."

  
  
  
  
  


LENNY KOSNOWSKI

You are a truck-driver at Shotz Brewery, where you work with your best friend, "Squiggy" Squiggman, as well as old friends Laverne DeFazio and Shirley Feeney, who are bottle-cappers. The "girls" are neighbors in your apartment building at 730 Knapp Street, as is Shirley's boyfriend, Carmine Ragusa. Your understanding landlady is Edna Babish, who's dating Laverne's widowed father, Frank, the owner of the Pizza Bowl.

You've had a crush on Laverne since high school and even proposed marriage to her when she had a pregnancy scare about a year ago, after she partied too hard at the brewery. You really hope that she in particular doesn't find out that you went to see Dr. Greenbaum for medical reasons. You tried to confide in Laverne's father, since your own father is dead, but Mr. DeFazio didn't want to discuss something so personal. You think you can trust him not to spill your secret, and you hope Dr. Greenbaum will take it to the grave and honor his Hypnotic Oath.

But you wouldn't have killed anybody over it, even if you might die of embarrassment. You try to act like a tough guy, but you're a coward. Well, you might kill or at least maim to protect Laverne or Squiggy, but only if you had to.

You don't know who committed this horrible crime, but you know from mystery movies and TV shows that it's often the wife, unless it was the butler, and the Greenbaums don't have a butler. And you know that Rosie has been a floozy since high school. Well, almost everyone knows that (maybe Ogden didn't), but that will be the rumor you'll spread.

Your Alibi: "I was at the music store, buying guitar picks."

Your Rumor: "Rosie wasn't exactly faithful to Ogden."

  
  
  
  
  


CARMINE "THE BIG RAGOO" RAGUSA

You are a dance instructor at the Marjorie Ward Dance Studio, although you have your tough side, too, and you are a former Golden Gloves boxing champion. You have show-biz dreams and sometimes sing at Frank DeFazio's Pizza Bowl and perform in the Shotz Annual Talent Shows, at the brewery where four of your old classmates work: Lenny Kosnowski, "Squiggy" Squiggman, Mr. DeFazio's daughter Laverne, and your girlfriend Shirley Feeney. You and these four friends live in an apartment building at 730 Knapp Street. Your understanding landlady is Edna Babish, who's dating Mr. DeFazio.

You and Shirley have been dating off and on since high school, but never exclusively. You are both prone to jealousy and prefer not to know the details of each other's relationships. You know she dreams of someday marrying a professional man, preferably a doctor, and she's definitely saving herself for that dream man. Meanwhile, you go out with girls that are "easier," since you have needs.

Still, you can't believe you got tangled up with Big Rosie Greenbaum, who's married to a proctologist named Ogden. You're not even sure you like Rosie as a person, although she can be a lot of fun, and not just in the sack. The two of you aren't in love, but you know how it's going to look if people find out, especially since someone has murdered her husband. You don't want to hurt sweet Shirley, and you definitely don't want to go to jail, but as the "wife's lover," you're a prime suspect.

You don't know who's guilty and you don't want anyone here to go to jail. Still, since you have to have a rumor to spread, you'll make one up about Laverne that you hope sounds plausible, even though anyone who really knows Laverne knows it won't hold up. And it's not something that she would kill Ogden over, especially since she's more likely to kill Rosie.

Your Alibi: "I was at the Marjorie Ward Dance Studio, giving a private lesson."

Your Rumor: "Laverne blamed Ogden for bringing out the worst in Rosie, who used to be better friends with Laverne when they were in the Angora Debs together.

  
  
  
  
  


ANDREW "SQUIGGY" SQUIGGMAN  


You are a truck-driver at Shotz Brewery, where you work with your best friend Lenny Kosnwoski, as well as old friends Laverne DeFazio and Shirley Feeney, who are bottle-cappers. The "girls" are neighbors in your apartment building at 730 Knapp Street, as is Shirley's boyfriend, Carmine Ragusa. Your understanding landlady is Edna Babish, who's dating Laverne's widowed father, Frank, the owner of the Pizza Bowl.

You are a mixture of pride and crudity. You failed to graduate and yet are the valedictorian of your class at Fillmore High, which all the suspects except Mr. DeFazio and Mrs. Babish attended. You would like to be rich, partly for the joy of money and partly to win the affections of your crush, Shirley. You know she would love to marry a doctor, and you have considered becoming a gynecologist.

Unfortunately, the only doctor you know well is the one now lying dead in the bowling alley, and before his untimely of the month, he shot down your dreams by saying you don't have what it takes to become a doctor. This made you angry, although not enough to kill the guy. You talk tough, but you prefer not to actually fight anyone.

On the other hand, this means his widow, Big Rosie, is available and you could probably get her on the rebound. She's not really your type, but you're not fussy when it comes to rich widows.

You don't really care who's guilty, although you will do your best to protect Shirley and Lenny. You're happy to share any gossip you come across, but first you'll start with a rumor about Carmine, since he's your rival for Shirley. It may not help solve the mystery, but it might lead to Shirley breaking up with the Big Ragoo.

Your Alibi: "I had a hot date."

Your Rumor: "Sometimes Carmine is giving lessons in more than dancing at the dance studio."


End file.
